Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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