He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
