when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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