Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
