Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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