We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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