He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you traded sex for a burrito?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
