the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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