Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
