He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
