Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
