I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
