I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
