C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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