so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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