Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
