Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
