We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
