the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
