the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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