she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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