3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
third nipple confirmed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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