Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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