We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
