I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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