My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
