she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
being pregnant is like rehab
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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