Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
