if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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