I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
