Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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