the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
