And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
