i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
