we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
