I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
