If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
