Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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