white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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