you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
