Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
