That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
