he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
