why didn't you poke me back
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
