Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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