I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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