I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
