Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
