i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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