Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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